Life is Optimal for the Proposers: LifeMath Part 1”

Stable Marriage Problem Background

Background on the Stable Marriage Problem / Algorithm : Numberphile Video (actually watch b4 read!)
TLDR explanation of problem: Marriage problem: find a way to pair up two groups of men and women, where each person has a ranked order preference from the other group, and there are no unstable pairings. An unstable pairing is a pair that both would prefer to leave their couple to be with each other.
TLDR explanation of algorithm: One algorithm to solve this problem is Gale-Shapley: on each day, all single men propose to their top choice left, all women pick their favorite currently proposing to them to couple up with, the rest of the men are single that night. Repeat this until everyone is paired. This surprisingly causes optimal pairings for all men (the proposers), and pessimal pairings for all women(the accepters/rejectors) (best and worst possible to be stable).
- Fun math problems (actually do if you have a minute!): prove this algorithm 1. creates a stable pairings, 2. is optimal for men, pessimal for women.

Be bold: ask new friends to hang out, ask someone on a date, ask for jobs, plan things, be proactive.
It can feel intuitive that being the acceptor/rejector (woman in stable marriage) feels like it gives you more leverage, but I think that’s a misconception.
There’s a class of people / exciting opportunities that could happen, won’t reach out to you (maybe it’s a fun event idea that just requires a little activaiton energy), but would happily accept if you reached out!
There’s no way that “Going with the flow” and being the acceptor/rejector creates the best situation. You can act!
- As an analogy, actively picking fish has to be better than letting whatever fish (people, events) flop onto your rod.
Genuine proposals come off well! Embarrassment is never too bad

Anyway, go for it!